I am my journey

For years my mom has asked my to write a book about my life as a first generation, albeit tail end, PKU patient, a depression sufferer, a domestic violence survivor, a female disabled traveler and now a pageant queen, but I’ve avoiding doing it. I don’t know where to start or where to end. I feel like a memoir should have an ending and I’m not finished…yet. So, I decided on a blog.

I have sat down to write this first entry so many times, but I never actually do it. I’m not sure why, but in some ways I do know why. The things I have to say not everyone wants to nor are they prepared to hear. My life has never been easy. I was never an “easy child” nor am I an “easy adult.” My life, however, is my own. I treasure every moment of it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world or any “cure” for that matter. This life has made me; led me to who I am now. Is this who or where I thought I would be 20 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago? No.

So what has this life made me? A Queen. Not only on a stage, but in life. As Oprah Winfrey said “A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” I have failed at things, everyone has something they’ve failed at and will fail at. It’s how you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again that matters.

I have my faith. To some that doesn’t mean much, but to me it’s means almost everything. My faith is in me as much as is it in GOD.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. “ Martin Luther King, Jr.

6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1:6.

God made me with a purpose. Sometimes I think I know what that purpose is and others that purpose is sorta thrust onto me. People think life is about where you end up, it’s not; it’s how you get there. Mine many be the road less traveled, but it’s my road, my story and my life. 

I want to thank those that have chosen to follow my story. I hope some of what I say helps you, but I’m doing this more for myself. I need to get it out and maybe someday I’ll fill in the blanks and put it into book form, but for now it’s all about the journey.