The past is the past (Originally posted December 4, 2011 on my PKU.com Blog)

Well I’m baaaack, sorta. Did ya miss me??? Well in my time gone I managed to crash two computers in less than two weeks. I probably won’t get a working one back for at least one more week. I also took a mini-vacation the week of Thanksgiving to visit my brother and his family in Wisconsin and I enjoyed it a lot. So how was everyone else’s holiday? I guess back to business. My topic today is “the past is the past.” Now as a first generation PKUer that tern is slightly beginning to annoy me. Believe me I am a stern follower of “forgive and forget” and “starting from square one”, however, in some cases no matter how hard you try sometimes you can’t turn a blind eye to what has happened way back when. We must remember the things that happen to a person, no matter if they are a PKUer or not, shape your life (how you live it and your outlook). My past, by nature, dictates how I chose to live now. Either I can choose to change the patterns of the past or stay in that rut. Like my PKU, I know how being off-diet feels and being on-diet feels, I have chosen to change the “off-diet” factor in my life and return. There are those that say then let that be that, don’t whine and complain about what happened before. Well, frankly, some people need to air that stuff out and seek others that will let them vent —venting is part of the process of getting over it. I.E. the dietician at the PKU Clinic I attended from the time I was about 2 years old until about 30 years old told me she was not willing to help me when I approached her about returning to my diet the last time and she abruptly told me I was a lost cause and she was not willing to help me. I she stood firm, I contacted her about what new formulas I could try she said I don’t even what dosages you should have I guess just guess. I contacted her about a Kuvan trial and she told me wasn’t gonna happen she was focusing on serious people. Now I guess I may just me a softy, but if a person reaches out a hand for help you should do your best to help them and pray and how thing time it sticks, I must confess this way of life has had me burned more than once, but seeing and helping my older cousin finally overcome his addictions and come to the Lord kept me still feeling this way, even after most of my family had given up on him and he constantly tells me you and your mom’s persistence paid off (there is no feeling better than seeing something like that happen). I digress, I decided to scrap that clinic saying they are the past and I needed to go full steam ahead to my future and seek out the other PKU Clinic in my area. Everybody must remember every PKUer does not have that advantage, they have to keep going to the people that at one time harmed them emotionally and an emotional scar is a hard one to get over. But I find myself having to address the past and the things I have done to my brain and body. I plow ahead but must patch, repair, and adapt to the troubles my years off-diet have done. So, “the past is the past” is a nice theory (lots of things were good in theory) but honestly sometimes that is just not the way it goes, no matter, how hard a person pushes forward. Now, don’t get me wrong parents & young PKUers the issues I have are not particularly issues you or your children will have. I you should operate under the assumption that everything will be good and alright, until otherwise told. Own your health. I OWN mine I reflect the damage done to me ultimately was not done by someone else taking me off-diet I did it to myself. Learn from my bumpy road. Be thankful you live in a time that, even though it’s hard to be different, differences are accepted and celebrated. Frederick Perls – “I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.”

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